What's the most valuable lesson you've learned in life, and how has it impacted your journey so far?

Sex! Lingerie! Knock knock jokes!

Marijuana makes Jesus cry!

After you lather me up with that strawberry hand lotion.

Should parents be allowed to bring children into R-rated movies? What are the potential consequences of doing so?

Torchy thinks: Maybe I could play a gangster's moll since apparently smoking is still seen as wholesome and American.

Remember, kids, masturbation will make you see the devil everywhere!

Make Nazis afraid again!

What are your funniest "lost in translation" moments if you grew up speaking more than one language?

Ironically, Wertham focused on stories about crime, singling out Batman and Robin for its gay subtext and Dick Tracy for its violence.

Before there was MAGA there was … the Comics Code Authority

¡Explotando Dick por todos lados!

Are you struggling with weight loss and finding it hard to stay consistent? What’s your biggest challenge when trying to lose weight at home?

Only zombies dig to rock and roll, daddy-O!

And I ended up moonlighting in Japanese porn, but the less said about that the better.

But Tess! I mean Betty! I mean Veronica! (I can never remember who is who) which ever one you are, I love you!

What are some funny and smart quotes?

Times might be tough … But at least there's one thing we all agree on.

“Your boyfriend is a total perv, mommy.”

In order to answer this I came up with a little story that goes like this …

Why do flat Earthers run away like whipped dogs with their tails between their legs when asked simple questions that expose their delusions as fantasy?

At least until the peyote kicks in ...

Perhaps now we can explore what being a “gal pal” really means.

Yes, Tess, crime doesn't pay but apparently Rated-G horror does.

Why do some people feel down in summer, specifically in July and August? What could be the reasons behind this feeling of sadness during those months only?

Torchy, we're unemployed … And no one is hiring scantily-clad wastrels these days.

I hear you're a stunt-double now for Fred in Scooby-Doo.

Of all the layoffs, Torchy Todd and her gal pal, Tess Parker, were hit the hardest.

If Jesus was crucified by Governor Pontius Pilate, why does the Quran deny his death?

Gadzooks! It's Torchy Todd slumming it in Yugoslavian science fiction! The shame!

Two letters of transit signed by General De Gaulle … Stimpy, you eediot!

Just you, me, in a vat of lime jello, pulling hair, calling each other names …

Are you happy with your life?

I've also been making ends meet ... By appearing in Tijuana splatter comics as Evil Gringo #2.

Every day is a good day to punch a Nazi! I mean MAGA! I mean the Comics Code Authority! (I can never remember who is who)

Speaking of which, poor Cleo Coco has ended up appearing in anti-vice pamphlets.

What role did China play in the signing of the "Beijing Declaration" between Fatah and Hamas? What other information is worth noting for talks among Palestinian factions in Beijing?

Tess' boyfriend, Ed, now works as a Peter Lorre impersonator.

Shameless vixen! Trollop!

In 1954 complete bastard and censorship campaigner Fredric Wertham published a book for the stated goal of creating a moral panic around comic book's alleged impact on juvenile delinquency. Much like the House Committee on Un-American Activities' disastrous impact on the film industry, the Comics Code Authority (obey, puny humans) put many hardworking comic book characters out of work all because of one poorly written book called …

How do I get access to a dog for bestiality? I am currently unable to adopt a dog, but I want to know if there are still ways to have sex with one without getting caught.

And then working as Betty and Veronica's body doubles ...

Dick! I heard about the lay-off. What's a square-jaw crime fighter doing these days to bring in the bling?

Let's do what we always do, lay around half-naked while men make terrible jokes at our expense.

Which is better, a naked picture of some one you know or porn videos?

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